It has been along while since I last posted anything. Lots of changes recently. The place my dad was living wasn't the perfect place for him after all. Alzheimer's is so tricky, you just never know what is to come next.
He was in a group home in a perfect little neighborhood not far from my mother and my neighborhood. There is two little Asian women on staff at all times. My dad became combative when it was time for diaper changing and showers. They are too small to take control of him and he was winning the battle. Long story short, the owner asked my mom to find another place for him. We were devastated. He was in his comfort zone there and to move him would mean that he might have a set-back.
We prayed about it. My mom found a place in Mesa that specializes in dementia care. They have 10 little cottages and each cottage has 10 bedrooms. This place seems like it would be better for him. She decided it was a good place for him so we transferred him. The old place never took him outside and this new place has a green grassy courtyard that he will get to enjoy as he sits in his wheelchair and enjoys the sun on his face.
For the last 6 months my dad has had these terrible little ticks that make him clinch his teeth and tighten the muscles in his face while his eyes roll back in his head. Since he has moved to the knew place, the ticks have increased. The Dr. said they are mini seizures. It is so scary to watch him go through that. It looks so painful. They don't know why he has them. They have him on a heavier medication. It is heartbreaking.
You never know what is going to happen from day to day. Expect the unexpected with Alzheimer's disease. Each person is different how they react. It is such a cruel disease. We just want our dad back.
13 comments:
Hi how are you , Nice to meet you I work as a caregiver in memory care. I would say moving your dad will end up being better for him. I think the combativness is caused by the cargiver NOT the person them selves. Think abotu it he has done these things by him self all these years who are they to tell him WHEN AND HOW he has to do things. I start a new job in a new place that is sooooo much directed to the residents desires and needs. Hang in there.... hope you don't mind my butting in.
So sorry i know how hard it is...hang in there....Pat
We had to move my mom a few times also. The first place was really just a temporary solution while we found a more suitable place. The second place was amazing but was for early to middle stages of Alzheimers. The third and final place was also amazing. We were very fortunate to have found such great places for my mom. But yes, each move was very hard for her and for us. There was definitely a settling time of a few weeks each time.
My mom had one seizure and the home sent her by ambulance to the hospital. I met the ambulance at the hospital. My mom got checked out head-to-toe and the doctors couldn't really say much as there were no lasting effects and she seemed completely unfazed and unaffected by the event. I thank G*d that I was not there to see the actual seizure. I think I would have died myself.
My mom passed away in early Feb. She was 93 years old and we were blessed to have her for so long. But honestly, in our family longevity into the 100's is not rare. If it were not for Dementia, Mama would have lived at least as long as Daddy who is 95. In 6 years, that horrible dibilitating disease gradually took its toll. Our once vibrant and feisty mom became this foggy, vague person who couldn't hold a conversation. The former impeccably dressed Cosmetician, no longer cared to bathe, shower, or even wash her hands. She would tell me that she was going to drive down South to visit her mother, who died before I was born. When I would wash her hair, I'd have to prepare for the struggle of the day. And as soon as I was done, she'd tell me how good her hair felt (which kept me determined to repeat the process). I miss my Mama, she was so easy to talk to when I was growing up, she explained everything to the best of her ability, she'd laugh with me, she'd comfort me when I was down, and she'd get in my case when I wasn't meeting the standards. We really miss her. That Dementia is a disease that steals away your loved one bit by bit.
I am so sorry you had to deal with the additional stress of finding a place to move him. I agree with the previous post saying it was ultimately better for him, but the hassle must have been overwhelming for you. Best of luck with everything, stay strong
I am so glad the new place is better. But so sad your dad had to even make the move. And I do hope the new meds. Help. I sent mom to the hospice home so I could get respite and that was a mistake. It was to much on her. She came back so much worse than when she left and it is harder on me now trying to get her back to normal. Her normal is not good but better than now. God bless and glad you posted again.
So sorry to hear about your troubles with your father. One sentence in your post sounded very familiar: "Expect the unexpected with Alzheimer's disease."
That was certainly true for my father as well. I often use a similar phrase: "The most predictable part of Alzheimer's is its unpredictability."
My father had Alzheimer's for almost thirteen years, but he died on New Years Day, 2010. Just this week, four months after his death, I decided to write a blog about his journey as a tribute to him, and also to share my experiences with others. If you're interested, please go to http://alzheimerhighway.blogspot.com. Thanks.
Gilda Spitz
(I may have written to you previously about this, but I may not have used the blog comment process properly, so I'm writing again.)
I feel for you and the pain you and your family are going through. My father had Alzheimer's for 13 years, and just died on New Year's Day, 2010. During all that time we also learned to "expect the unexpected", as you said. In fact, the phrase we always used was, "The most predictable thing about Alzheimer's is its unpredictability." Not much comfort, other than to know that you're not alone.
Best wishes...
Gilda in Toronto
http://alzheimerhighway.blogspot.com
I feel for you, that wasn't easy to go through but glad it the results were good :) Thanks for your post we all need to hear about the good endings :)
Indeed Alzheimer's is such a cruel disease. It must be hard on the patient and even harder on their loved ones. It's heartbreaking seeing your mom or dad not recognizing you. Just hang on...
So sad reading your blog, I, too am struggling with the devestating downward slide of an elderly parent to Alzheimers, but I found a wonderful resource which has helped our family by guiding us through what to expect, it's a free bonus book about Alzheimers, and well worth reading.
Free bonus book about dealing with Alzheimer's
I am so sorry about your father.
We should all get involved in gathering as many people and resources as possible to stop this disease from affecting so many people out there.
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