My mom has been losing weight and feeling good about herself recently. The other day she got all dressed up to go visit my dad. She doesn't normally do that. She was just hoping that there might be a slight chance that he would recognize her by her beauty that he once so loved. They have been married for 52 years and she talked to me the other day about how much she still is in love with him. It made me sad for her. It's hard because even though he is still living, he is basically gone at the same time. We have mourned him but he is still here. It's really hard to deal with. Alzheimer's is tricky. Your gone but your still here.
She said that when she got to his house he was just waking up from his nap. He saw her and his eyes lit up for a second as if he recognized her but then the light turned off very quickly. She didn't need to get all dressed up but she wanted to feel young and beautiful again. She sat next to him and held his hand and told him how much she loved him. He didn't say anything but he didn't push her away either. She understands his disease.
We miss his personality that was so bright, happy, witty, loving and beautiful. Alzheimer's takes all of that away from you. It is very hard for me to deal with. My poor, poor dad. You are so loved.
3 comments:
I used to get so hopeful before each visit that my mom would recognize me. When she did, it made me so happy. When she didn't, I'd feel so sad and quietly sit with her feeling so alone even though she was right there. Alzheimers is a cruel disease...it's left me with lifelong scars of sadness.
My mom ask for me all the time and I tell her I am here. Or she will say who are you? Sometimes if I start to cry she will say Ohhh! what is wrong honey and that makes me cry more. But than I lay my head on her chest and she holds me. I don't know if she knows me but it makes me feel good.I miss her so much we were best friends even when I am with her everyday. I know how you feel and I am so sorry.
http://alzheimersandmomblog.blogspot.com/
Alzheimers is so hard to understand...it is so cruel... Pat
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