I visited with my dad two days ago. I had been telling them to take my dad outside so he can get some sunlight on his skin, so they finally did and he was out back when I arrived. It seemed he was enjoying the view of the trees, grass and flowers. The locusts were really loud too. He had a perplexed look on his face. I introduced myself to him again and proceeded to talk to him about all the things that are beautiful outdoors. I reminded him that we live in AZ and that is why it's so hot out. He didn't have any change of expression in his face as I spoke to him.
I changed the subject and asked him if he was happy and if they were treating him good in the home. He just stared into my eyes as I asked him how he was doing and if he was feeling good. He continued to stare so I stared back. He looked sad and lonely. I could see it in his eyes. I asked him again and he said "I'm doing OK". He has no idea that he has Alzheimer's. It hurts my heart to see him like this.
I continued to talked with him but this time about his past. I told him what he used to do for a living and mentioned some names of people he worked with. His eyes lit up and he started to laugh. I am not sure what was funny about that but at least he was expressing happiness. I talked to him about our family and named my siblings one by one including me. There are 7 of us kids. He smiled and laughed again.
This was a lesson for me. I need to continue to talk to him about more positive things rather then asking him if likes the home and if they are taking care of him. He may not understand why he is there and it's not up to me to try and analyze his emotions but I do know that he is happy when he hears about things that are familiar to him. Hearing familiar names of those he loved and hearing about the things he enjoyed doing, I believe, is what makes him happy.
I believe that even though he is in the severe stages of Alzheimer's, which affects his brain, he still has a heart and it is so filled with love and wonderful memories that I believe that is what he is using to communicate. He as always had a big heart so full of love and he still does.
As I was getting read to leave I told him that I would be back very soon. He reached out for me to give him a hug and he has NEVER done that since he has had Alzheimer's. I hugged him back trying to fight back my tears. I could feel his love and I know it's still stored deep in his heart.
3 comments:
I used to take my mom out for some sun .But she hates it now. When she could go out herself she would sit on the porch everyday. But now I try to push her out in the wheelchair and NO! it is yelling all the way. So we don't do that much.
http://alzheimersandmomblog.blogspot.com/
You have different "conversations" at different points in the disease. In the last year of my mom's life, I wasn't sure what she could understand (if anything at all). She couldn't speak and didn't really react much to words. Sometimes I'd just sit and do her nails and massage her hands because she reacted well to touch. Or I'd just sit and hold her hand while trying not to cry myself. It gets tougher as time goes on...
I really enjoy your posts. After caring for my great grandfather for over a year I built the site AlzMall.com. I am looking for those who have loved ones with Alzheimer's to tell stories of their loved ones and hope you would share a story about your dad.
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