I went to visit my dad for 4th of July. Even though he doesn't know it's a holiday, I would feel guilty if I didn't go and take him some holiday candy. I brought him a pack of red vines and some little chocolates.
He was sitting at the dining room table in his wheel chair when I got there. I sat next to him and said "hi dad, it's Krista". I got no response from him. So, I got right in front of his face and said "Hi, dad, I brought you your favorite candy". Still no reaction from him. He would look at me for a second and then look away. The whole time he just stayed focused on looking away from me.
I tried to see if I took out a piece of licorice, he might give a response. Nope! So, I put a piece in his hand and he started to eat it but still wouldn't look at me. I sat there and stared at him wondering what the heck is going through his mind. It's so sad to see him like that. I look at his body and think, wow, he is physically capable to live for many more years but his brain, diseased by Alzheimer's, has not much more to take.
Anyway, I am just not ready for my dad to be like this. If he didn't have Alzheimer's, he would be doing just great, considering he is physically healthy.
4 comments:
Hey Krista,
I know what your visit felt like. My mom would sit and blow little spit bubbles (sorry for the descrption, but it's true) with her lips and stare into space during some visits. My mom also had quite a few years left on her body physically but once Alzheimer's really took over, it's almost like it started to deteriorate her body too. Her eyes had trouble with with spatial/distance; she became incontinent; her legs stopped working; her arms eventually became very weak and then she needed to be fed (pureed food because she couldn't chew properly - we got her dentures checked a few times and it wasn't them). So sad to see them this way. It's like seeing a mirage of your parent and not being able to "reach" them.
Krista, I've been reading your blog for a while now and I find your dad's progression seems to be happening quickly (I guess compared to my mom's 16 years, anything is quicker to me). When do you think he first started showing early signs of Alzheimer's?
I'm so sorry this sounds just like my mother it's so hard and so sad. I know my mother would not want to live if she only knew...thanks for sharing and hand in there...Pat H
Krista,
I know it's hard. It use to kill me to see my Mom struggling to form her words or to witness her see something that was not really there. I was trying to prepare myself for the day that she would look at me and not know who I was. I am a strong woman... but I know for sure that I would have broken down completely.
xoxoxoxo
Donna Marie
I hope you and your sister are both doing well... how's your Mom?
Thanks Donna. My mom is doing pretty good. She has her sad days for the most part but it's best for her to just try to stay positive.
Thanks for the support!!
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